I seem to have left my pride at pride
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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