She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
