Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
