his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
