i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
