i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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