yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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