I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
