The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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