I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
