Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
