why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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