And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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