Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
