My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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