I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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