This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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