Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
