we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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