Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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