i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
