I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
