Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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