I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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