how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
