We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sext me about skeletons
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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