I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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