Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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