your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
