So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
