last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he thought i was a dude.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
