How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
