Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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