Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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