I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If I die, sorry about rent.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize