...so i touched it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
