she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
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Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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