wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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