Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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