Who did Billy Mays play for?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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