i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
