shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
