im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
