the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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