I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
