Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
