I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I look better un-naked...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
BRING THE BAGELS
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
