I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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