sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
