miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
