haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
