Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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