Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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