Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
