i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
