I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
