wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
FUCK WHALES
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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