Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
