we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
